Welcome - Blossoms

Longing...

2012-01-15T15:11:00.002+05:30

I wish to pen down my words,
I want to speak my heart loud,
I crave to talk aloud,
I desire to be heard,
I yearn to meet,
I pine to hear,

All that I want to do,
I can't.

An excerpt...

2012-01-02T18:49:00.003+05:30

"Knowing the nuanced details of someone’s life.
Knowing that you mean the world to him.
Knowing that he would never ever let you go.
Knowing that happiness became synonyms with him.
Knowing that all my friends have accepted him as my better half.
Everything just felt right.
Knowing the cons of his personality.
I kept faith in him.
Highest level of faith that I could ever keep in someone."

When you endure pain ...

2011-12-19T02:24:00.002+05:30

Less did I know,

in the process of enduring pain,

and learning to live with it,

and befriending agony,

you should be happy

or bitten by melancholia?

Blames,

guilt,

deceit,

taunts.

I wonder,

smiles that you brought,

shortlived though,

are worth missing. But,

this void,

it's creepy,

weird sounds,

and some odd imprints

that you left behind,

I carry alongwith me,

every day, every night,

in pride,

in the process of

enduring the pain...

more I think about you,

more is the pain I derive,

and more, I lose my part.

The essence of being lonely.

2011-12-03T13:04:00.001+05:30

Lonely. I am sure this word bangs your head infinite number of times and scares the shit out of you. Let me guess, when you have no one to share your innate thoughts, or happy moments and the sad things about your surroundings. As human beings, we are meant to feel these emotions. Happiness. Love. Sadness. Loneliness. Rage. Jealousy. Lust. Greed. We have all the right to have mates and friends all around us, afterall we all are social animals. And we need people to share and gradually grow in our lives. It's not abnormal or there is nothing wrong in feeling lonely.

Why are people scared about being left alone?

While someone is scared of losing their precious, someone is fearful of being ignored. It's never a good feeling to be the "neglected" one. It's a scary feeling undoubtedly. Everyone wishes to get loved by others and everyone wants to be appreciated. A turmoil and inner conflict is born when no one is there to listen to you, to pat your back, to understand what you are going through. That is when feel loneliness reflects on your face.

And everyone feels alone at some point or the other, perhaps it's a universal feeling.

"At the innermost core of all loneliness is a deep and powerful yearning for union with one's lost self."- Brendan Francis

On one hand where solitudeness creates a void in your heart or keeps you perturbed.However, a different way to look at it can be, it can also guide to the way to know yourself better. When you are surrounded with people all around you and are busy with your chores for long days, you never get a chance to think about yourself and to question yourself (which is important). But once you are left in your own space, you start questioning yourself and try to understand yourself better by introspecting what went wrong and how can it be improved. It's important to achieve something in life. It teaches you a lot of things. It lteaches you a lot about yourself.

According to me, when you are alone, it can be leading to the process of knowing the self. You can open up face-to-face with yourself without hiding your true emotions. We all expertise in maintaining a facade to display ourselves to the world because of the fear of being judged all the time. We all fear of being put into a trial and therefore become multi-faceted. It's only when you are left in solitude, you can realize your own worth, and be yourself. Just yourself. You can appreciate yourself. You can think anything without the guilt of feeling it.

Loneliness is a real eye-opener. I guess one should not be scared of feeling lonely at times. Its important for the realization and manifestation of better you.

Caution- In many cases- a demon/evil is born in the mind of the lonely being which is harmful/fatal if not channelised in the right direction.

Think about yourself. Love yourself. And know yourself.

You are all worth it~

It's one of those days...

2011-11-26T17:55:00.001+05:30

It's one of those days,

when life looks like a maze,

rain brings gloom to your heart,

sunset goes unnoticed.

roaring noises suddenly mutes,

demonic traffic irritates you no more,

It's one of those days, when

no song can cheer you up!

No cuisine can satisfy you,

Aroma of the chocolate can't charm you in,

It's one of those days,

when you forget eating at all.

It's one of those days,

turbulence is pumping inside you,

when something is vexing you,

that you can't speak, that you can't express,

that you don't want people to know.

It's one of those days,

when you feel lost,

when you don't know what to do,

or how to do.

Mind boggles.

Rarely hurt.

Feeling less.

Perhaps, still and

motionless.

The will to win

2011-11-09T12:07:00.000+05:30

I got a mail from my dad, which I thought is worth sharing here with my blogger friends.

The Will To Win

If you want a thing bad enough
To go out and fight for it,
Work day and night for it,
Give up your time and your peace and
your sleep for it

If only desire of it
Makes you quite mad enough
Never to tire of it,
Makes you hold all other things tawdry
and cheap for it

If life seems all empty and useless without it
And all that you scheme and you dream is about it,

If gladly you'll sweat for it,
Fret for it, Plan for it,
Lose all your terror of God or man for it,

If you'll simply go after that thing that you want.
With all your capacity,
Strength and sagacity,
Faith, hope and confidence, stern pertinacity,

If neither cold poverty, famished and gaunt,
Nor sickness nor pain
Of body or brain
Can turn you away from the thing that you want,

If dogged and grim you besiege and beset it,
You'll get it!

Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons. Love yourself, trust your choices, and everything is possible.

A thought.

2011-10-29T15:09:00.000+05:30

We all dislike the people who lie, but we all lie.

Don't we?

When life changes...

2011-10-25T19:23:00.001+05:30

Life changes,

even before you start realizing.

Some changes are for good,

some changes are for bad.

Whether bad or good,

changes are dificult to accept.

And the key to accept the changes,

is... time, and nothing else.

My persistent smile.

2011-10-22T00:42:00.002+05:30

I smile,

I smile all the time,

I smile when I'm tired,
I smile when I don't like anything,
I smile when people ignore me,
I smile when I'm sad,
I smile when I look myself in the mirror,
I smile when I fall,
I smile when I am fired,
I smile when people judge me,

But that doesnt mean,
I don't feel different emotions,
though people won't believe.

Because I smile,
and let it go.
Because I ignore,
and let it go.

Two-faced I am,
because I smile,
and hide other side.

Very less people know,
what it takes a person to smile all the time,
and to hide the pain behind the smile.

My tiny sister- Sanvi.

2011-10-04T11:46:00.002+05:30

The sight of Sanvi,

fills me with joy and content.

Her tiny fingers and palms,

that holds my thumb

in her own gentle ways,

and her gorgeous smile

could just make up for the

most melancholy day,

And the way she digs her head

when i pick her up in my arms,

and tickles on my shoulder,

and refuses to go.

she moulds herself accordingly

when I embrace her in my arms,

she feels happy and cozy,

she plays with her thumb,

and twists her neck,

she cries in real for sometime,

and sometimes, she cries to cry.

She smirks, she chides,

for those who can understand her.

P.S.- Sanvi is my cousin sister who is 21 years younger to me. Her fourth monthly birthday just went away two days back. She lights up my days when I meet her.

Babies are the purest form of human beings. They are not pretentious. They have the liberty to say whatever they like.

Being a child.

2011-09-15T18:58:00.001+05:30

Have you ever thought of being a child again? After we grow up, we tend to lose that innocence, and that charm any young child is born with. In that stage, he's not aware of the worldly concerns, and can do whatever he likes according to his wishes. He is pampered and blessed with whatever he wants. Every parent gives the best to their children, and no one can deny this.

Thanks to the "Performance studies" class, I got a license to be the child. On the streets. In the open spaces. Without giving a damn about what people would think about me. What I felt and went through during that hour, cannot be explained in mere words. But I still want to give a try.

One thing is for sure, No one can bare us for a longer time if we behave "childish" except- parents. That's the beauty of parents. We always remain kids for them, however old we grow. And when I went about the streets acting "childish", ofcourse I got all the attention. People were gazing at me as if I have passed out. Kids do random things, perhaps I was acting like one. And it was not difficult. We have been kids at one point of time. We have lived that phase. Just have to re-live that phase. It comes naturally, without pretending- if we stop caring about people around us would think about us.

I was playing with windmill toy in one hand. And ate lollipop with the another. Jumped. From one bench to another. Forced myself to hang on trees. Shouted "aeroplane", after seeing the plane flying up in the sky. Shouted, "mumma yeh chahie, papa woh chahie". Danced. Had fun. Put a flower in my hair. All random things. I have never ever done such things in public ever before. To be whatever you want to be. Isn't it great? What better than just being a child?

How I interacted with public spaces was fascinating. I had to do nothing. No talking. Just BE in the role. Everybody was puzzled and they looked at me as if I had turned insane. And I didn't care. The best part was that, I was not suppose to care.

Can you try this kind of activity sometime with your own set of friends? And choose whatever character you want to play, without caring of whatever the world will think about you?

Being a child refreshed me. Gave me good vibes. And reminded me of my own golden childhood. What a day!! :))

I miss you all.

2011-09-13T22:15:00.002+05:30

It's a month,
since I'm away from home.
I know, I'm not a child anymore,
but there are some things I long for.

I miss when every member of my family came to wake me up and I still kept sleeping.
I miss my lazy days,
I long for home food,
I regret the tantrums I used to throw unncessarily to make a fuss,
I miss the care,
I miss the "unnoticed" love,
I miss my arguments with mom,
I miss the times, when I teased my l'il brother,
I miss spending time with papa,
I miss reading newspaper.
And I miss almost everything about maa,
I even miss the scoldings,
I miss my home without upholstery,
I miss my wardrobe,
and the fridge and that special almirah in the kitchen,
I miss my study,
I miss eating sweets at night.
I miss the smell of my pillow,
And looking outside that huge window,

Moreover,
I miss when maa waited for me to come back home from college.
It angered me then, when she called up to know where I am,
Here, no one asks where I am,
and listen to my daily nonsensical stories.
And it makes me miss my home more.

I miss you all so much,
that I'm scared to tell.
It's not like, things are wrong here,
Everything's fine here.
Still, memory flashes back to the time of togetherness,
may be in the form of dream or just
just goes away with the blink of an eye.
But, All of you are always there
in my mind and heart.

A month is enough to realize, that home is the best place to be. And parents are the best people on the earth.

It always makes me wonder, I shouldn't have been such a pampered child for no one other than you can do the pampering.

On missing home-made food.

2011-09-11T15:16:00.000+05:30

The home-made sweets,

that maa- You sent to me,

I devour a bite, and keep the rest inside,

like a treasure,

Nothing tastes like the food you made,

Nothing at all.

It's okay to cry.

2011-08-28T22:23:00.000+05:30

When fears block the sight,

and nightmares chase all night,

It's okay to cry.

When you look a little fat,

and relatives tease you all the while,

It's okay to cry.

When grades fall suddenly,

and you seem to understand nothing,

It's okay to cry.

When friends don't understand,

and judge you and despise you,

It's okay to cry.

When god seems to shower all that you don't want,

and life takes a jerky turn,

It's okay to cry.

When money finishes,

and the month end is twenty days away,

It's okay to cry.

When you bear a pimple on the same day,

that you've bought that expensive dress for,

It's okay to cry.

It's okay to cry,

But, cry to yourself,

and learn from the mistakes.

Change begins...

2011-08-20T23:26:00.000+05:30

I wanted to be here. And I'm here,

I fashioned this course. I got it.

But... but... desires don't stop here.

There's something more I want now.

I'm here.

Perhaps, to make the best of my years.

And I will.

Bengalooru, I am gleed to be here.

How ironic?

2011-08-09T11:40:00.002+05:30

Most of the time, the person we were closest to,
whom we entitled our secret-bearer,
in front of whom we laid our hearts on the wishful trays,
with whom, we could share something as personal as passwords.

Ironically, turns out to be the person who is a complete stranger today,
And mind you, Stranger with the hard feelings and a challenging level of discomfort.
(of course, these days google can help you find the person's whereabouts).

TIP: Staying extra- close to anyone is contagious to the relationships.

On observing the type of relationships around, I found out and came to the conclusion that a lot of people are breaking up 'coz they have nothing left to talk about. The future of those couples is then anticipated to break up, for there is nothing left to share. And then, the relationship is doomed forever.

Then why say, "Forever"?

2011-07-31T10:55:00.008+05:30

Who has invented this word "forever"? Is there anything like "forever"?

Forever. When someone says, "You are my friend forever"! Does that mean, that XYZ person is not going to leave you alone ever? Really? And when these two friends fight over some stupid shit, and they cry over each other's egotism, that "forever" is lost forever.

Who/what is going to be with us forever, till death sets us apart? Any idea? Please tell me?

"Love you forever", "friends forever", are such messages, that I find super- irritating. It's all over Facebook and other social networking sites. Under every hot-shot picture, flooded in the comments. I can't even take it when any of my friends say "love you", like that. Can't we save these words for that someone special or anyone for whom we really mean? Why everyone?

Forever? D'oh. Everyone comes in our life, some stay for good, some stay to make life more miserable. But the common thing that follows is, they all leave. They promise each other to stay together forever. But we all know, that is not the truth.

Go back to your sweet childhood days, and spare a moment to think about the people you have left behind till now. Each class, new best friend? LOL. We make best friend each year, break up each year? Why? Why make best friends then?

Life is short, we all know that. Yet, there's no one that lives with us forever.
Everyone breaks that promise of staying together forever. No doubt, most of the people break our trust on the way. And some people just die. And then, separation becomes inevitable.

Please stop using the word "forever", for it gives me hope about the person- which tears me apart, when broken? Why can't all the relationships start with a guarantee card?

What do you say now about "forever"? Anyone for "forever"?

In this walk of life, we meet some good people whom we love deeply. We also meet some people who do no good. But the important thing is, we learn a new lesson from everyone we come across. One should never forget the lessons learnt, even if that person doesn't stay in your life. Remember to remember the lesson. That's the way we move ahead in life. :)

The essence of rain.

2011-07-29T14:59:00.001+05:30

"By far, the vault of heaven is overly impregnated with massive clouds, that are similar to the gleam of blackish - cotuses... somewhere- they are similar to the glitter of the heaps of well- kneaded blackish mascara... and elsewhere they glisten like the blackened nipples of the bosoms of pregnant women, ready to rain the elixir of lie on the lips of her offspring, when that offspring is actualised... "- Kalidasa

It was late evening today. I was returning back from a shopping complex after meeting my friend. We bid off adieus. The black clouds were visible and soon it started drizzling. I waited for sometime under the shed, but as it was getting darker. I had to reach home. And I had to drive my bike back to home.

I was alone. And it rained. Heavily.

I started to drive. I couldn't wait. Rainy season is my favourite season. And it was a chance get wet in rain, that my mommy usually doesn't let me, because she is scared to see to ill, like all other moms. Perhaps, I couldn't miss this chance. I drove. At first, slowly. Rain drops fell over me, like they were pampering me with love and affection. Then I geared up and achieved some thrill in the speed. And then, rain drops hit me hard on my face and my bare hands. I was drenched in rain water already, and my hair stuck to my forehead. My eyelids shut on its own, because it was raining cats and dogs. I stopped for a while, after finding the corner on the road, and wore a helmet. It prevented me from getting water in my eyes. And then, I drove safely with my eyes wide open.

I drove back home through the meandering ways. Balancing bike was a tough job even more when roads are divided by numerous holes filled with water. These holes create water logging problems severely. I banged into the main door hurriedly as soon as I touched the border of my home. Parked my bike in the garage, freed myself from the helmet. And I rushed back into the rain. Again.

I felt rain. Everywhere. I believe in one of my philosophies sternly. It is- 'when it rains, someone up there, is either very happy because of me, or extremely sad because of me', And today, I felt the happiness that I might have given someone. May be. But when I stretched my neck up towards the sky, and felt the rain drops over my face, I felt bliss. It felt heavenly. Something that I was missing out. Realizing that I have made someone feel happy(according to my philosophy), opened every pore of my skin. It was mesmerising to experience that blissful moment, along with the fragrance of the wet mud. I opened my arms and felt raindrops on my rosy palms, wrist, hands, and on my gapped teeth. And then, my phone suddenly rung with a ringtone, Ah! 'somebody's me'. It felt great. I felt rejuvenated and refreshed all over.

Rains are god's gift to this earth. Surely the elixir of life. We are blessed. I felt blessed. I forgot all my pains, and worries, and washed them away with the rain.

When it rains, my mind washes away all the negative thoughts.

What is beauty to you?

2011-07-27T15:38:00.003+05:30

Few days ago, A strange incident took place. It might not look strange to you. But I had issues dealing with it.

I was standing with an aunt in the neighbourhood garden, among lush greens, and vast varieties of tress and plants. Lot of insects, and little creatures were seen from time to time. A not-so-attractive lizard appeared, and aunt immediately shouted,"this is an ugly lizard, it must be venomous". I did not react. But the incident kept striking me again and again. It has reasons.

Number one reason being, she connected ugliness with venom? Lets be clear here, not every creature is pretty and good-looking. Does that mean, that they are poisonous, or harmful. There are many good-looking creatures, who are of no worth to the society. I don't understand. Does our brains accept only white beautiful people? Did that aunt expect lizard to be snazzy and glamorous? Lizard is ugly, therefore it contains venom. Weird? And what about us, human beings, who are not pretty? Are we venomous too?

Think about it.

World preaches beauty. Television displays all the pretty white faces with the accurate shapes and sizes. The world is not so perfect that is shown on our television sets, only if we understand this. We have imperfections. And we should be proud of it. Where will the fun factor be, and self improvement part be, if we all were born perfect. Why aren't imperfect faces ever applauded?

Blackness has always been associated with evil, venom, and everyone wants the fair skinned companion. Isn't that strange? Yes, it is. Can't people with black skin be good companions? All of us have been created by god. We have distinguished features. Different color, different sizes? What is the problem then? Don't we have the right to be treated equally? Why is black considered to be evil? And why are ugly people considered to be savages? Each of the creature- human being or an animal, has the right to live,till his death sets him apart. Who are these pretty people, who can deny them a worthy life?

Beauty is transient. It will go away, with time. Then? Are we living in a world, where only pretty faces are capable of making good friends?

Do you all need pretty- faced people to get clicked with, to call them "friends", and to display it on face book and other social networking sites? I've heard from somewhere that in colleges, they prefer to give away admissions to the beautiful people without looking into their calibres, who are least deserving? Ugly faces are not taken by good families for marriage prospects? Are those families really "good families" who mercilessly rejects the not-so-good looking faces to enter in their bloodlines, however ugly their boy might be. Does these kind of faces not make good couples? I can put down so many more examples here, where beautiful people can go on, and not-so-beautiful can't.

P.S.- I understand, aunt talked about lizard being ugly and venomous. But the concepts of beauty are deeply rooted in the our society that discriminates everyone on something or the other. They don't even spare lizards. How does it matter to her?

My message to the people who were ever demeaned because of their beauty (esp for girls) :

Don't ever think you are not beautiful. You are. However, dishevelled state you are in. You always look beautiful.

You are capable of achieving everything in the world, that you dream for yourself.

Never let anyone put you down. Build your self confidence brick by brick each day.

And never forget, Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.

And dear beauty appreciators, if you are so keen to applaud physical beauty, and your eyes cant stand imperfections, look around and praise the beauty of nature. The purest form of beauty. There's is nothing so perfect and beautiful like nature.

A song.

2011-07-23T14:41:00.000+05:30

Anyone who is depressed, and wanna be motivated - Listen to this song.

It will boost you up for sure.

Do leave comments, if you like the song.

I love it.

Sit back and think.

2011-07-22T21:09:00.001+05:30

We always win and lose at the same time.

Happiness and sadness walks hand in hand.

Neither of the two emotions are permanent. They are constantly changing. Life is so bad at one time, and the next moment, its all good, and beautiful. The dualities of these kind make a life livable. No one can keep winning for their entire lives. Everyone has to face failure, and if you make fun of failure around you, Remember that you are next.

Try to take happiness and sadness, as gifts of god. Never get too happy or too sad. There is always something lying in store for you, that bumps in your life whenever it's the right time. Things will always change. 'Waiting' is the right word.

Don't keep regretting your past. It will ruin your present and future. Letting it go would be the best option. Don't curse your past. Remember, whatever has happened, its for the good. It's all planned by that supreme power. Chalk out creative plans to not repeat the mistakes done in the past.

Never leave your friends alone in sorrows and pains. Sharing happiness is not that important that as sharing pain. If you are not there, you are definitely not the "friend".

Life is full of surprises. You never know what is going to happen in the next moment of the life. Surprises are the essence of life.

Always leave good memories of self in someone's heart and mind. It makes all the difference. Nothing else will matter. Do good. Make people smile.

Take a chill pill. Sit back and think. And don't think bad of anyone. Don't make your mind so complex that you yourself can't untangle the things it back.

A thought- 2

2011-07-15T17:24:00.003+05:30

"Whatever happens,

it is for the good . "

On my visit to Behari ji's temple, in Vrindavan

2011-07-10T22:09:00.001+05:30

It was raining heavily, to my surprise. I like rains, but this time when I had to walk bare feet from the car parking area to the temple on the muddy road with stones, I realized rains were pretty difficult to live with, for the person who uses legs to commute. It was not easy. To take an each step ahead, and put down feet in the filthy mud water, I watched my pedicured feet with a sigh. My feet looked horrible. But my granny was determined to walk bare feet and expected the same from me. (The reason to walk bare feet is simple. They say, that foot wears get stolen in the rush of that kind) I definitely didn't want to lose my Catwalk bellies.

Somehow, we managed to get inside the temple with the flow of people getting in. The sight was terrific. People, people everywhere. And not an inch to stand. I bet, no one could get inside the crowd after coming out without the pain of being stampeded or suffocated.

People called themselves fortunate if they chanced a single glance of the idol "behariji". The pandits opened and closed the darshan in every 20 seconds because they say,"behariji ko nazar lag jaati hai". It was fascinating to me. The temple was peculiar in shape and size. One could not say, it was a cuboidal or cubic shaped. It was wide-spread. Marble flooring was even more slippery because it was watery with the rasas of flowers and filthy water that people's feet carried. People shouted "jai" after every two minutes. And the only way one could keep satisfied standing sandwiched was, he would be lucky to see a glance of the idol. Luckily, I am tall. It was not at all difficult for me. But for my mum, who is not so tall and also thin, it was difficult to even breathe inside. She got her hair messed, and she hurt her feet and it caught bleeding.

I had an argument with a girl, who called my mum stupid because she stamped on her feet. It was weird. In that kind of rush, how can anyone abuse of stamping of feet? My mum's feet bled. The drops fell on the marble but she kept quiet. She was determined to not look back(after I insisted her), for she wanted to see the deity and worship. However, on seeing her blood, I got a little annoyed and pissed. I could shout at her that time, but her conviction to stay-made me say nothing to her. I just wished, we got out of that rush as soon as possible.

Finally, after getting on the stairs, my mum got to see the idol completely and she was so satisfied. All that pain she suffered,seemed to vanish. With a glance of the deity, she could bear the pain with ease.

However, we got out of the temple finally, filling our feet with the mud again. The glance of the idol was undoubtedly imprinting. A sight to see. And only today, my height proved as a bliss.

I don't know, it was very difficult to see my mum in pain of that kind, may be the least. I wished all pains were mine, and she suffered none. It's so difficult to see our loved ones in pain.

Also I would recommend, If one gets a chance to go to Vrinadavan, Please don't miss this temple.

A thought.

2011-07-09T19:32:00.002+05:30

" When life is so chaotic and complex,

how can you be so simple and selfless? "

Importance of Love.

2011-07-01T01:30:00.000+05:30

Who doesn't want love? Raise your hands, please! Stay honest to yourself while reading the article.

Everyone wants love. And no one can do without it. I must mention-love of any kind-of parents, spouse, friends, etc. Love is like the drug, because it is addictive. Love is like a need. A need, without which you can't do. You need to hear "I love you",time to time. It's necessary, like we do other things set in our time-tables.

Everyone in this chaotic and distressed world searches for that "someone", who makes them feel special. For someone, who have faith in them. For someone, who is capable of making them smile. For someone, who can be companion during all the times-happy and sad. Without love, you feel broken or shattered or depressed. And incomplete. You desire human touch. You can't do without blissful hugs, when torn apart. And that touch creates magic unknown.

And the biggest irony is, when we get that kind of person-we abuse, we disobey, we say all kinds of bad things, we get over-possesive, we betray, we cheat, we lie, we make wanton excuses to get out of it. May be because we are over-done in the relationship. But then, why do we need love, and we search for love? What do we do that with 'Love' that we want so badly?

But you know, Love is a pure feeling, the purest of all and there's that precious moment when we feel love. You can feel it rarely. Yes, that's when you feel special. That's when you trust the other person more than yourself. That's when you give in.
Love makes you feel secure. It gives the assurance of the kind that any amount of money can't give. People who are rich are constantly worried, because they don't get love. They just stay with each other to get material benefits( I might be wrong, but i've seen it in most of the aristocratic families-perhaps, just being honest). Love is that feeling which makes us feel everything right.

One thing is for sure, when a bond is tied by the strings of love, no body can break it, if you don't want to. You can neither stop the person from leaving you if they are keen to leave. Because you can't control anyone. You always do what you want to do. Therefore, it's definitely not a good idea to bound them with different kinds of restrictions. It stresses the relationships unnecessarily. "When you love someone, set them free. For they'll come back to you like a boomerang if love is true."
The myth, that distances break the relations. It doesn't. It makes you fall in love more deeply than ever. More than you can ever imagine.

Spread love, instead of spreading jealousy, possessiveness , and malice. Don't mix the terms.

P.S.-I have written about this topic after a very long time, please co-operate with me, and let me know about the things you disagree to. And please understand that, it is not only the romantic love I'm talking about.

Life= monotony, and hope.

2011-06-24T00:16:00.000+05:30

It was an evening, lazy and monotonous,

Among the green bushy patches,

I strolled in my steady pace,

I watched the dogs lazing,

and the cows that were mooing constantly.

Trees were still,

Not a leaf moved an inch.

It seemed that trees were taking a nap,

I couldn't feel the wind,

Nothing was unusual.

Babies in their respective prams,

and their maids dutifully carried them,

Some seemed careful about the baby,

but the rest, just got an excuse to chit-chat and relax.

It was mundane.

Sky was clear blue.

Despite of blue being my fav color,

Nothing seemed exciting about it.

Sun was setting,

While girls were walking back to their home.

Some lovers strolled on the path,

and some hid among bushes,

Some who were newly coupled, walked hand-in-hand,

Rest-fought, abused and talked of break-up.

One could understand.

It was obvious.

Frogs jumped on the path,

and lizards swirled on the trunk of the tree,

chameleons changed their color from blue to green,

And squirrels, ran without any reason.

It was life.

And I just strolled for a while,

and returned back home,

It happens to me everyday,

And this is life.

There's a meaning in mundaneness,

You just have to find it.

What is this?

2011-06-17T17:38:00.000+05:30

I might be lonely,

I might be confused,

I might be in a bad mood,

I might just want to stay alone.

I should be happy,

It is raining outside,

cukoo is singing in symphony,

and its all so beautiful.

I am sad,

I don't know what to do,

I have no one to take me to the next step,

I feel doomed and not a ray of hope.

Everything seems to fall apart,

Chaos and confusion all around,

Oh brain! why have you stopped working?

Or may be, I am being plain impatient!

Not all teachers are gurus.

2011-06-16T11:13:00.001+05:30

She was standing at the door, when her teacher threw at her, her handwritten script unread marked 50% which she gave it to her to read. Riya was waiting to hear something about the script she had spent days and nights on. She spent a month writing it, when other students were preparing for the exams. But Professor didn't utter a word. She ignored. She outcasted her. Without any reason, due to the prejudices of course that she was incapable enough to write that script. Riya was shattered and deeply hurt.

She didn't feel like writing any more. She cried. She cried her heart loud, because she was not ready for this. She firmly believed that no teacher can be like that. Her friends cajoled her, tried to calm her, but she was enraged. No one could ever understand what agony was she smitten by. She respected all the teachers while other students bitched about them at their back. Teachers liked sycophancy too.

Not all teachers are gurus. Some teachers are biased. They have an inclination towards their favorite students and they think of others(not so intelligent) as dumb-asses. It's the responsibility of a teacher to make that student feel comfortable who aren't that "intelligent". Ones who are that capable are already loved and liked by all the teachers.

Wounds of words.

2011-06-06T17:14:00.000+05:30

Every time, when someone does a bad thing to me, or that I dislike, I tend to think bad of that person. We all do. Isn't it? Because we are angry, we hurt numerous people unknowingly, or may be knowingly. I wish, we could undone certain things or could take some hurting words back.

But what is said, is gone. It leaves deep everlasting chasms of pain in the heart of the person at the receiving end. That can never be healed.

We all fight, on a regular basis. With friends. With spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend. With parents. With relatives. But how can we prevent from saying those words that are so hurtful and unforgiving?

To prevent/control anger is extremely difficult job. Those who can who it, achieve the real success and is able to measure the scales in life, for he hasn't hurt the people on his way up. He becomes a respectable person in society, more than who loses his temper and uses harsh/abusive words. Don't you agree?
Therefore, many people say that drinking water while you are angry helps. BUT, nothing helps. Nothing at all. We tend to use foul language. How do we drink water while we are in rage? It doesn't even strike.

The only way to control temper is to be patient. Anger destroys everything-Relations, love, and companionship. Resisting the temptation of showing anger is the real task. All the different reality shows these days like Roadies, Splitsvilla.. provoke people to be angry. The harsh and abusive words, will definitely not make the society civilized. And the youth thinks its cool to be abusive. IT'S NOT. It leaves a bad impression on the other person, whatever relation you share.

After living in Delhi for numerous years now, One thing is for sure, People can't start or end their sentences without abuses. If they themselves abuse, Can they ever stop their own kid? If they can't, One can imagine the kind of generation it'll be.

I thought, we were equal- 2

2011-05-19T18:36:00.000+05:30

We all are human beings. We have the equal right to commit mistakes. But why is it that when women commit mistakes, they aren't forgiven. And men are.

Women always have to pay a hefty price for their mistakes. Why?

Think about it. And answer if you can.

Most adorable, My grandma.

2011-05-17T17:48:00.002+05:30

She is the super-woman,
Minus the supernatural powers.

Her skin that has loosened over the time,
wrinkles, and depressions,
that reminds me of Moon,
her beauty marks hideous.
And her long silver hair,
reflecting her aging experience.
She flaunts her age in pride.

With her affectionate touch,

She cures and endures.
She can repair the deepest wounds,
with her traditional curing things,

She doesn't miss a chance to care,

All she thinks is about our welfare.

She cooks the most tempting food,
Not a bite goes unchewed.
Her exceptional culinary skills,
exquisite and marvelous.
She wants to teach me everything.

Repeatedly she says,
she has seen her life,
paid the price of being born.
And fill me with her
Words of Wisdom.
She wants me to learn everything,
She wants to lessen my suffering.

She cares, she smiles, she cooks, she prays,
Everything,
For us.
For her family.

She's growing old now.

She is my Grandma,
Most lovable among everyone.

I thought, we were equal.

2011-05-11T14:18:00.000+05:30

The maid that comes to my house for sweeping and dusting work gave a major blow to my senses.

She was mishandling the handle and lock of every door of my home. It could almost break. I asked her to do it slowly otherwise it would break. She repudiated me. And informed me, that she was cleaning my room, and instead of praising her, I am scolding her. I, politely, replied.. Handles will break, and will be in pieces, if she continued to mishandle it. And then, she said what was it that mattered me, and informed me that it was not my home, but was my brothers'. Plus, Only males are heads of the family. I silenced.

Oh God! It was a blow. I thought about it again and again.

I wondered, Is this education, that has broadened our ways of thinking? Only if she would have understood that its an equal world that is evolving, Differences would automatically fall in place. Women are themselves demeaning themselves. What will men do?

Signing off, Leaving all you readers with- One should never give up her/his self respect for anything. Coz if we don't respect ourselves, no one will.

Also, i would like you to ponder upon the way I have reacted. You are all "educated" people. Put in your views.

Dear Forward Message Senders,

2011-04-28T16:42:00.001+05:30

Everyday, I get a lot of forward messages, informing me 'this is life', 'that's life', etc. I hope, you would be able to connect it with what I am trying to say. Some say- "follow these seven principles to lead a happy life", and what not.

When at midnight, you are half asleep, and the message like this arrives, How do you feel? I don't think, It has changed your life, or something like that. You probably curse the sender, who has sent you the text. Of course, I feel exasperated.

We all are living life, and sailing on the same boat probably. Some are in their high tides, and some could be in low tides. I would like to pose this question to my not-so-dear forward-message-senders, that do they exactly follow these principles, and lead "the required happy life". Has anyone of them who forwards these, understood the essence of life, and is willing to stay contended with whatever is happening around them. I am sceptic about it. We all have the right to live the way we feel, we should. We all commit mistakes, and learn from it. Do I offend you, senders?

I am aware of the fact that technology users have exploded their usage, but please.. at least, respect the privacy of the recipient. Free messages are all in the air, Even I use the scheme. But that never gave anyone the right to invade in the privacy.

Not only these, but the network messages have become a major problem to our lives. They aren't aware of the situations we are in, and they repeatedly, keep sending messages to buy this real estate, to buy that membership... and god knows what! Hell. In the scarce situation, when your closed one is on death bed, would you like to see such kind of a message? Or situation can be anything like you are studying, writing an article, or even cooking. How does it matter?

Our lives are full of problems as it is. And these messages just add on to the stress. These messages do no good to anyone. If my dear senders, you are so fond of sending forwards, send santa-banta jokes, so that if not anything else, it makes the other person smile and helps to release her/him from stress. That is still acceptable.

Of course, Its my urge to the people to stop sending the messages. I am fed-up of these nonsense messages. And wish to see no more of them. And regarding life, I'd like to commit my own set of mistakes and learn from them. Please, If you are still so adamant to not stop, see the time before you forward these kind of messages.

P.S.- Just while writing this, I got three forwards from three different people. *phew*

An illusion of a perfect life.

2011-04-24T17:38:00.000+05:30

Things can never be perfect,

As we want them to be.

As we imagine.

As we dream.

However,

to lead a happy and a peaceful life ,

We can live in an illusion,

of everything being perfect.

We can hide our sorrows,

behind our glamourous smiles.

We can cry,

but call them "blissful tears".

We cannot run away from problems.

We cannot jump to the conclusions.

We cannot foresee our future.

We have to wait.

And to wait, Its important to live in illusions.

I do.

I wish,

We could be born flawless,

like the unbroken petals of rose.

I wish,

nothing would matter, except the hearts.

*the most valuable- heart*

And today,

Everything else matters, but the heart? Ha!

*who cares*

Irreparable time.

2011-04-24T00:47:00.001+05:30

Time flies.
It does. But when in pain, Time doesn't seem to fly. Why is it when, we are happy and spend the good time, we don't realize the amount of time spent. But when we are suffering or in some deep shit, we see our watch after every minute.

My college is getting over- hopefully, if I pass. Of course, I spent the awesome time there. I know, time can never come back. But, when I look back into the time, I realize- I've changed tremendously, and So does my thinking line.

There are numerous people I held responsible for making me whatever I am. Yes, I have realized- I am something. Most importantly. College days have empowered me, encouraged me and changed me. I shall never forget the days I spent in that vicinity. The college became special, because of the friends and teachers who taught me. It wouldn't be same, if anyone of these would be missing. I won't name here. But people who read this, are of course the major part of my college days. I've learnt a great deal from all of them.

Sometimes, I wonder- Where I would be without college,when it gets over. No answer echoes back to me. I don't know. I might do good in life, or it can be other way also. Undecided of the admissions, *vexed* It is a strange feeling. Exams are just around the corner. And I should have been studying big time, day and night. But I am pouring out my heart here.

I am not ready to believe I have grown up. Like what? I was a kid, a child yesterday. And not a child anymore. This is a scary feeling. When I was young, I was so excited to go to college. And now when its getting over, I am scared of the life ahead. I know, my life has just begun, as every grey-haired person tells me. But, Life so far, has showed me the differences between good and bad. and Also, taught me that- life's not gonna be easy.

I am excited to know, what's going to happen. What am I going to become. Whether I be able to achieve what I desire and aim to be.

Its just a feeling, and a bad time I am going through. Time is not flying, because things are good.
I think, now its the time to take a deep breath. And introspect more.

P.s.- I couldn't say anything on my farewell day, but I wanted to say. Thanks all of you for being there for me. You shall be missed. And those days, might be experienced once again, if we are together.

Stupidest cupid. Let her live!

2011-04-24T00:16:00.000+05:30

I travel in Metro, and usually close my ears listening to FM, but due to some problem in the way i wore my headphones, it kept felling off again and again. And I heard something so funny, That I couldn't help, but get angry.

I heard a girl talking over phone probably talking to her boyfriend, "baby, I am so sorry, I had gone to take bath, after you cut the call that time, and couldn't pick your call,Jaan, Don't get angry. "

Oh my god? Do couples these days fight over shit like this? I felt like thrashing her that time. Dude, This is heights of possessiveness. What is the need to tell the nuanced details of your life, like you sneezed, you bathed, you taking breakfast.. blah.. blah.. I have personally known couples who fight over the useless issue of not messaging or replying within every 10 seconds. I wonder, Are they in a relationship to fight or to love? You don't trust a person whom you love for she doesn't take their call or call back, Whatever, ONCE? I know, we have technologically advanced, and we all have free messages, but is this way to torture every moment?

There are guys who dictate their girls to not wear sleeveless and showy dresses, but when they get down in a mall, They are the first ones to look out for the girls who wear this? Males are such hypocrites, They have all the problems with their girlfriend's female friends. What kind of life a girl who gets this kind of guy lives! HELL, A hell given by males! TORTURE! For god's sake, Let her breathe, and give her the required space. Or she ll soon realize that you are making her life hell, and will leave you!

I have pathos with the people like these, and pity on their lives and the kind of lives they are living! God has given all of us just one life? And you are responsible for making it pathetic instead of beautiful. Grow up!

Love is all what we crave for. To get true love. Ha! And if at all we get "true" love, what do we do? We fight? We make that person cry whom we left the world for? We give pain? Please. Stop falling in love, and polluting the word, if this is what you want to do after getting the one you love. Life is so short to spread hatred. One should realize it before its too late.

My dear new l'il Mac book pro,

2011-04-19T17:58:00.000+05:30

Aww.. Typing on you, darling, *pinching myself*-Yes, you are mine! You are the one, I can carry it everywhere. Like my little notebook, you save everything- all my silly pictures, and not-so-silly documents. When your screen sleeps, You look so adorable like a baby sleeping peacefully in the mother's arms. And the camera you have- You make me look so good with all its effects. And I love to sing with you on Garage Band. I love to play piano, and make my own music. I love to touch your keys. I am falling short of words to express my happiness. Your scratch-less body, and your speakers are totally fantabulous. When I am with you, I never feel sad.

You are the best thing I've ever got. Without demands and complaints. You are all mine. I just want to type, type and type all day. Your so sleek figure gives me a complex, for sure. And not to forget, I also love paraphernalia you have bring along. You are adored, my mac! :)

Only yours.

Eyes and I.

2011-04-07T21:12:00.000+05:30

Yeah, those sparkling and twinkling thing on your face- laid safely between the white hard shell that captures and encapsulates every little thing you take notice of, which directly connects it to your grey cells. Yeah, I got an infection there. Severe one. And my face looked abhorrent. And I couldn't even smile nicely, 'coz when I smiled, my eyes take a natural closure, and it pained badly every time I did smile. I couldn't wink at my friends in class. I could not rub them. I could not close them well. But After 10 long days, It is recovering, and getting back to its original shape. Thank god for that!

I really had to take good care of them. And also take the antibiotics. I hate them. But my eyes... They aren't twinkling any more. I have to take utmost care of them to see them sparkle again.

I realized, the amount of pain one has to undergo with these god-gifted bodies that comes as a package with our flesh. I just wish, nothing of that sort happen to anyone else. It was bad. It embarrassed me everywhere. And pain- was just infinite.

Eyes, are the most beautiful part of our face , I think. They express so much. And they are truthful. They are not like sycophants or puppets. They are pure and transparent.

All of you people, who have got their bodies in a right condition, Feel pride and don't crib. Make a judicious use of it. And please, Please.. take care.. You see, We all know 'prevention is better than cure'.

Can we really change the world?

2011-03-27T16:40:00.000+05:30

I have entered in my 20's, and am gradually realizing how imperfect the world is. And, we all try to change the things around us constantly, one after the other. We nag, we crib and we dislike the surroundings. Its natural. We all have faced this. We don't like the injustice happening to the just people. We don't like the way court delays the justice. We crib about the way government rules. We nag about the people in authority. We display antipathy towards our neighbors of some stupid reason of the music being played loudly, We mock at the local police. We disapprove of the way traffic rules being broken. We detest ourselves from the people we find are mean and selfish or egoistic. What are we doing exactly? And why are we enraged to see the wrongs happening around us. Okay, I understand we are the youth of the country ,and our blood boils at 100 degrees Celsius at the sight of unjustness around us. But, Could we actually change anything?

More than six decades have passed since the time our country got its freedom from the invaders. Why does the corruption still exist? Why are the cricket matches fixed? Why do women still abhor to walk on the streets late night? Why are the murders, rapes, robberies taking place everywhere?

From your busy lives, take a moment and give a thought, Are we really free? And where are we heading towards? Can't we do anything to change this? Yes, we can protest, we can shout, we can write, We can also cry, or we can sit idle and chit-chat about it during our coffee-breaks. But, the million dollar question is- Can we really change something?

We blame our Prime- minister, home-minister, finance minister, railway minister, chief- minister and all the various people up ruling our country and keep cursing them day and night. We curse everyone, we curse our society for the orthodox rules they follow. We blame our friends for egotism. We blame media. We blame our teachers for not completing our syllabi on time. We blame our parents to not give us that expensive cell-phone our friend has. And we are so scared to take the blames over ourselves.Yes, its true, We never take the blames on ourselves. I read a nice quotation saying - "shift the blames to someone else, and move on". Ha, How true. But do we really move on?

Jessica Lall, Aarushi Talwar, Radhika Tanwar, and many more lives have been sacrificed without any reason, Right from deaths out of terrorists attacks to the natural calamities, We haven't been able to prevent anything. We can be vigilant, and we can pray to our respective gods. What else can we do? Of course, each of us will die someday. But who has given the rights to these devilish people, who think they can kill the innocents and get away like that.

My point is- Somewhere, we all are responsible, as the citizens of this country. For once, held yourself responsible in the wrongs around you, Take the blame over yourself, and try to change 'you'. We all know, we can't really change anything on a big scale, But we try. This caption over "Leaders For Tomorrow"( A major youth NGO) tee says-" Lets change the world". I would love to see it as, "Lets change ourselves, world will take its care itself." Therefore, If we change ourselves, and keep changing ourselves according to the situations constantly, world for us would/can be a better place to live in, Because, It is in our own hands to change ourselves!

Stay responsible, everything will fall in place.

An ode to the times lost.

2011-03-25T19:37:00.000+05:30

You were so precious to me, more than anything else.

I don't know why did you go?

I told you all the tit-bits of my life, And now.. we behave like any other acquaintance.

Something must be wrong at your end, and something at my end, I'm sure..

You were so close to me,

You were..

my guide,

my friend,

my relative,

my savior,

my solution,

my secret- bearer.

My life depended on you.

I needed you to take a step ahead.

When I came here, to this alien land,

I was relieved to know, that you were here.

But I don't know,

And I can't understand how things changed.

And why things changed?

I trusted you with my heart.

You were dearest to me, if not to anyone else,

Didn't you ever feel, you were important to me?

Didn't you ever miss me?

Why did you chose to leave me?

Wasn't I worth of you?

Did I do you any harm?

Why? WHY? I OFTEN ASK MYSELF,

And knowing it, that times can never be same,

Because we have departed, once!

You were like a mirror to me,

I could see my real self into you,

and now, that we have scattered,each broken part can never be stuck together.

I miss you,

and the times we have lost behind.

I accuse myself.

And I still love you,

without letting you know.

P.S- Its an ode to all the special life people in my life, with whom I grew up, but are not together , or aren't that close in my today.

Holi haiiiiiiiiiiii.. :))

2011-03-19T19:52:00.000+05:30

Happy Holi folks!

Gulaal,

gujiya,

gubbaare (balloons),

Enjoy the festival, with lots of colors, safely!

Take Care.

A "metropolitan" woman.

2011-02-26T23:29:00.000+05:30

Behold,
As there she is,
A woman,
Independent,
Beautiful, benign and bold,
Yet, fragile in her ways,
Walking high on her heels,
Her bangles and danglers decking her,
Like stars embellishing the dark night.

Sensuous are her moves,
And what loaded, assertive words and decree,
Are pronounced by that,
Rosy, nonchalant, gum chewing mouth.

Sensitive and childlike is she,
Yet full of substance, power and might,
With an urge to soar high,
Up in the sky. She is,
Capable of shaking 'Mount Olympus'.
Raising her voice, glorifying her passions,
And like never before,
Rising above and beyond the reach of 'MEN'.

Sophisticated and educated is she,
Which the patriarchal world never wanted her to be,
She takes her decisions and,
Decides the course of her life,
She has faith, she has trust,
In no one else, But in her.
Simple,Sensible yet Sacrificing is she,
A Charming, coquettish fighter is she,
She can no longer be ignored,
Oh, no more can she escape your attention,

Behold,
For she has arrived,
To leave you men gawking at her,
With your jaws dropped down low,
Yes, she is the new-age woman,
The 'metropolitan'' woman,
Following the footsteps of 'Draupadi',
But certainly not walking in her shoes.

Dear Valentine, Beware!

2011-02-14T13:19:00.002+05:30

On this day of love,

when love is in the air,

and people in love,

are pouring their hearts out.

I, desolate.. but happy,

after realizing love,

is not that we fancy, But

Love is a gamble.

It is not about making castles,

and going gaga about.

It is all about making sacrifices,

and being faithful.

It is dark,

It is a hope,

It is an ostentation,

It is love,

Oh, What a grave and passionate obsession!

Love is like a rose,

but not a bed of roses.

So, Dear Valentine,

Think before you let your feelings flow.

An ode to my college

2011-02-11T14:31:00.000+05:30

I knew, I was late,

I rushed in through the gate,

The watchman passed a grin,

asked for my identity to let me in.

My half preoccupied in the contemplation of an excuse,

and the other, in praying my own personal muse.

While I plaited my hair, and creased my shirt,

My eyes fell upon the surrounding free of dirt.

It was unusual that I stopped,

To caress the splendid lush greens,

the bright flowers that were cropped,

under the sky calm and clean.

My heart thralled in joy,

to acknowledge the beauty unseen,

There, I sat down on the bench to enjoy,

without realizing the minutes nineteen.

My sight fell upon the bunch of girls,

vociferating a birthday song,

and clicked the smiles and their curls,

forgetting all about the rights and the wrongs.

My throat choked by the tearing pain,

When I realized the time that can never come again,

to leave this place forever,

that I revered with intense fervor.

The boundless support of teachers,

Astounding memories with friends,

Incredible unity among class-fellows,

And the scenic beauty in the vicinity,

is the most unforgettable part

in the course of my three years!

Because, she is the bride ...

2011-01-26T16:56:00.000+05:30

Because, she is the bride

for the night,

loaded with jewels,

and hush-hush make-up.

Because, she is the bride,

her face radiant,

her smile illuminating,

and her mind in melancholy.

Because, she is the bride,

the lessons of her mother,

the love of her friends,

the blessings of the relatives,

she takes along.

Because, she is the bride,

apocalyptic tomorrow,

with an unfamiliar mother,

and a new family.

Because, she is the bride,

who was the sun of her family,

will be the moon to the new family,

all geared up, to make her home.

Because, she is the bride,

her dreams she'd woven,

unsure of the future,

with unending demands,

and full of sacrifices,

she welcomes all of it,

and give herself,

in the eternal bond.

Because, she is the bride,

she cares,

she loves,

all like her own.

Because, she is the bride,

she sighs,

she's anxious,

she is the most deserving of love.

Love or Hate?

2011-01-12T19:39:00.000+05:30

One life to love,

One life to hate,

And I choose love over hate.

Life do gives us chance,

And what we do?

We defenestrate those chances,

And crib,

crib about our only life!

How do we live?

Its better to die,

And

never cry!

Because

When we drop our tears,

We look weak.

Only life to love,

Only life to hate,

And I will always choose love over hate!

P.S.- Like any other native of this country, I dream to eradicate hatred and spread love! And want people to stop cribbing about their lives, and accept the way god has made them! That gives satisfaction, And satisfaction always and always brings peace. And if one is at peace, He/she ll always spread love and no hatred!

What do you choose?

Beauty in darkness...

2011-01-06T21:15:00.000+05:30

Under the darkest sky I've ever seen,

with ocean of twinkling stars,

Cool breeze was blowing,

And I felt the wind playing with me,

A mass surrounded by the sparkling water,

and a splendid reflection of leaves in it,

And crystalline dew drops over them,

seems to ornate them as a newly wedded girl.

Some fireflies, I can see

Some lizards, I get scared by the sight of them,

And the shrill sound of those cockroaches,

rested peacefully in the intensive winters.

Standing in solitude,

refection can I see,

in the flickering of infinite candles and lanterns,

And I don't want to move an inch.

How can I forget the docile grass,

which was as soft as silk,

on which I moved; I felt my bare feet wet,

as if grass was still perspiring.

Perhaps,This intrinsic beauty in darkness,

I shall welcome all my life.

P.S.- I wrote this poem in Alibaug,a suburb of Mumbai on the New Years's eve! I can hardly imagine this kind of beauty in Delhi.

Slighest of hope keeps me going!

2010-12-13T17:11:00.000+05:30

Everyday,

I lose!

Everyday,

something morbid occurs to me,

But even after losing,

I wanna win.

I wanna live,

I wake up afresh,

with a new ray of hope,

a hope to win, someday!

All we need is a flicker of light... and this is how life goes on!

Why do people steal?

2010-12-09T18:57:00.000+05:30

I wonder..

Yesterday, my friend's cell got stolen and she filled in buckets of tears. It is obvious, after all we are so attached, or rather addicted to our cell phones. It is not only about cellphones, we are attached to the every little thing we use in our daily lives!

Mr. thief, I am sure you gonna be getting your punishment, and someday you'll be losing something as precious as you stole today! Because, In life we always get back that we have done in past!

Please, please , please.. If anyone who steals happens to read my blog, Stop stealing, at once. You feel happy by stealing one day, but the problems that follow in the coming time are too big for people to handle.

Do good, things will always fall in place for you!

And please don't steal. Ever.

Here, I can think of the Bournville's tagline-"You earn it"!

Earn and spend,always, and you'll enjoy that pleasure of spending , IF YOU ARE A *REAL* GENTLEMAN OR A GENTLEWOMAN.

My message to the feelingless people!

2010-11-12T21:45:00.002+05:30

Have you ever come across a not-so-close, but a decent friend who came up to you and say, " I don't wanna be friends with you anymore!"

If you can connect to what I'm trying to say, or ever came across such a moment- You ought to understand what I'm trying to say. But to rest, A message- Please don't walk upto a person and say, you cant be friends anymore, ever! It hurts, somewhere.. even though the person is not that important to you! It might be possible , the person you said believes that she is very nice friend to you! She might have never done anything wrong to you, or even thought a word bad for you!

Respect feelings, or Your feelings are never gonna be respected!

Story of my Driving License

2010-11-08T20:36:00.000+05:30

Pheww...

Lately I am very -very happy because I could "win" my driving license. Seriously, It was an extremely bad experience. These people rejected my application twice, and I thought I would never be able to get it. But thankfully, that uncle.. who took some money(as fees) but got me through it, and today I am a proud owner of it. I did insane things after receiving that.. I clicked pictures(Being a girl; plus i got something I badly desired). So Today, I am a proud owner of My driving license and it feels awesome *raised collar*!

P.S.- Though I've crashed my car once long ago!! *hahaha*

The saga of "WORDS".

2010-09-24T22:50:00.000+05:30

Words are all I have to take your heart away....

Really?

Raise your hands up in the air,

If words, ever took away your heart!

I wish,

I could be dumb,

I wouldn't have broken a single heart,

I would have never been misunderstood..

Right from the Raghuvansha's Empire, An adage was formed-

"praan jaaye par vachan naa jaaye"

(I may die, but will never disobey my words)

It has meandered its meaning, and we know that.

I wish,

my silence could make people understand,

my actions could pour out my transparent feelings,

my words wouldn't have been misunderstood.

Oh, words fail to display purest of emotions,

Yes, words are deceptive,

And words could never take anyone's heart away,

Oh *in agony*, words are fake!

P.S.- This poem is dedicated to all, whose words have been misunderstood so far..Just to support my view, Actions speak louder than words!

Happy Birthday Meenakshi !!!

2010-09-18T19:58:00.000+05:30

A few years ago,

when you became my "first" best friend,

Like a support stick, You were

with me in my thick and thins.

You've always been here, close to me.

We grew together,

distance never hindered our relationship,

You are one of your own kind,

I can never forget your voice,

Your flawless glow,

Your patiently hearing sessions,

Your mindfulness,

Your pure heart,

I am proud to be your friend,

and I feel awesome, when you are around!

Meenakshi, On your birthday,

I miss you,

Its being years.. we havn't met..

and I don't even remember when was the last ,we

celebrated your birthday together!

May you continue to shine,
May the brilliance of the Lord persist to guide your way,

May all your dreams come true!

You are extremely special to me!

I love you, for what you are...

*HUGS*

*friends forever*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

A ladder to success

2010-09-15T15:46:00.000+05:30

I see your eyes, drenched in pride..

They say, pride is one of the seven sins..

In your dreams, the space you created..

Oh buddy, keep your calm,

And stay confident..

Over-confidence leads one nowhere..

I know you can do it,

and achieve the highest of your goals,

Oh buddy.. Don't lose your patience!

As they say, Patience is the key to success.

One day, when you achieve the highest of all you dreamt,

Don't forget the people on your way!

Especially me, for I wrote this for you-

I'm sure, I'll be able to see, once again your eyes drenched in pride!

A voice against Caste System

2010-09-08T14:56:00.000+05:30

There is a guy I know, he is an electrician. Whenever something goes wrong at our place with electrical appliances or switches or anything like that, He comes to our place at once, and do the work very sincerely.

The only problem with this guy is, he is of a lower class (but how does that matter), and everyone out castes him everywhere. He is not being treated fairly and sometimes like an untouchable( I, being an eye-witness), I know that , and that too by the people I know, Nobody notices this. I do! My course (English H) carves a way for me to observe this sheer/bloody caste system that still prevails in our society. I am outraged every time I see something like this.

So often, we say.. We live in "the" 21st century,Our country has acquired all the success and power, and also brought in every kind of western culture *in pride*. Yet, this caste-system that prevails, abhors me, despite of all kinds of advancements our nation has made.

I am strictly against this, and wish to change the way people think and categorize people as of upper- caste and lower- caste!

Dear readers, If something like this is what you feel for, Please understand .. We are all, gifts of god. and within each of us lies a god, By outcasting a person ,we are outcasting the god in him/her. Please stop this around you. Make our country, a better place to live in for all the people! Do you remember, in our national pledge, we acknowledge everyone as "Brothers and Sisters", Are they only to fill in the vote banks? We are at least suppose to treat our brothers and sisters equally!

Monsoon showers

2010-08-19T19:57:00.000+05:30

Rain drops. Rain drops,
misty clouds,
silent roads,
flowers blooming,

striking fragnance in the air,

colorful clothes,
scintillating noise,
Hot coffee,
greenery everywhere,

some under umbrella,
some in raincoats,
some running across,
and the rest.. walking silently,

Rain drops, rain drops!
Ah, what a weather.

Tagged!

2010-08-11T19:41:00.000+05:30

1.) Copy tag to your own notes and start modifying it.

2.) Omit existing answers.

3.) Write your answers and tag as many as you want.[Image]Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real. Nothing made up. If the person before you had the same initial, you MUST have different answers, strictly NO carbon copy in that case. You cannot use any words twice. You cannot use your name for the boy and girl's name questions.

1.) What is your name: Ritika(My name)

2.) A four letter word: rave

3.) A boy's name: Rachit

4.) A girl's name: Rads

5.) An occupation: Rearing sheeps (LOL)

6.) A color: Red (hottest color)

7.) Something you wear: Rubber band

8.) A food: Rasgulla (mouth watery)

9.) Something found in the bathroom: Razor (hehe)

10.) A country: Rome

11.) A reason for being late: Road traffic

12.) Something you shout: Romantic songs ( i don't shout, but nothing was striking me)

13.) A movie title: Rehna hai tere Dil mein <3

14.) Something you drink: Red bull

15.) A musical group:

16.) An animal : Rabbit

17.) A street name: Rohini

18.) A type of car: Ritz

19.) An internet site/blogsite: www.rediff.com

20.) A song: raat kali ek khwaab mein aayi

21.) A President's name:

22.) A cartoon character: Richie- Rich

23.) Name of School:

24.) A sport:

25.) A Latin word: repere (meaning- to crawl )

P.S- I could find no names/words for the gaps ,I left in! If you know, do let me know!

Another tag:

10 things you don't know about me:

1.) I eat chocolates when I cry.

2.) I want to write a book, about my life, someday!

3.) I love handmade cards, to give as well as to take!

4.) I have fetish for stationary things esp.- metallic lead pencils ( I buy them however expensive they are)

5.) I hate lizards, cockroaches, and even I get scared even by an insect as small as a mosquito,

6.) I hate moody and miser people.

7.) I don't trust anyone!

8.) I don't wish bad for anyone on this earth, however bad they have been to me!

9.) I love eating maggi and bhutta (corn) all the time!

10.) I love giving surprises!

And yeah you all are tagged!! :D

BREAKFREE -

2010-08-01T22:54:00.000+05:30

Its my habit to juggle with dates, and relate everything of my past, in present according to dates. I think, its not only me who keep fighting with dates, But all the other people of my age can relate themselves to this peculiar habit of mine.

I was extremely troubled 'coz of this habit. And, if you (whosoever is reading) follows my blog, must know that my dadaji expired on 7th July'05. And my birthday falls on 9th July. I kept this hidden from the world about why I am sad on my birthday for no reasons, and kept cursing it. So far, Many people have tried making it special, But I don't accept it that way. I keep crying, and mood swings carry on for another week. Its always a bad day,

rather the worst week during the year, simply because I don't want to be happy.

Times have past. And Its hard to accept the realities of life, esp Deaths, not only for me, but most of the people.

Only yesterday, I recalled something- My dad told me few days back, He loves my birthday, and it is the only date he can't forget ever in his life because I was born! And today I realize, When he can let go his elegiac sorrows for my happiness, Why do I hold onto things so firmly, and not letting it go off!

With time, I have become rigid. I don't let go off things easily.

I realize, When we lose one person we love deeply, We hold onto every person in our lives firmly, so that we don't lose another loved one!

I feel better now.

=PEACE

Strike it off Tag -

2010-07-31T15:38:00.000+05:30

I found this pretty interesting in a blog" Moments I Will Cherish" , I went through recently, It's pretty interesting tag and simple. Just strike off the things that you haven't done in your life yet. Here I go :)

~~Smoked a Cigarette.~~
~~Got so drunk you passed out.~~
Rode every ride at an amusement park.
Collected something stupid.( i collect anything, that I feel can be used in craft work)
Gone to a Rock Concert. (in my college)
Helped someone.(often)
~~Gone fishing.~~
~~Watched four movies in one night.~~ (Only two, Yes)
Lied to someone.
~~Snorted cocaine.~~
~~Smoked weed.~~
~~Failed a subject~~. (Not in finals. Internals-yes. All of us in my class did ;) )
Been in a car accident.
~~Been in a tornado.~~
~~Watched someone die.~~
~~Been to a funeral.~~
~~Burned Yourself.~~
~~Run a marathon~~.
Cried yourself to sleep.(Infinite nights)
Flown in an aeroplane.
~~Cheated on someone.~~
Been cheated on.
Written a 10 page letter.
Gone skiing.
~~Been sailing~~.
Cut yourself.
Had a best friend.( No Best friends)
Lost someone you loved.
Got into trouble for something you didn’t do.
~~Stolen a book from the library.~~
Gone to a different country.
~~Watched the Harry Potter movies.~~ ( I hate Harry Potter)
Had an online diary.(Yeah! )
Fired a gun. ( At balloons at the Ramlila Maidan ;) )
~~Gambled in a casino.~~ ( I've been to, but didn't try )
Been in a school play.
~~Been fired from a job.~~
~~Taken a lie detector test.~~
~~Swam with dolphins.~~
Voted for someone on a reality TV show. ( I did it for Abhijeet Sawant in Indian Idol Season 1)
Written poetry. ( Oh yeah!!)
Read more than 20 books a year. (Eng honors is all about reading books, and that is what I'm doing).
~~Gone to Europe.~~
Used a colouring book over age 12. ( Oh, I loved that)
~~Had a Surgery.~~
~~Had stitches.~~
Taken a Taxi.
Had more than 5 IM conversations going on at once. ( I'm a girl afterall ;) )
Been in a fist fight. ( Yeah with my brother ).
Suffered any form of abuse.( Verbal)
~~Had a pet.~~ (I hate them)
~~Petted a wild animal.~~
~~Had your own credit card & bought something with it.~~
~~Dyed your hair.~~
~~Got a tattoo~~.
Had something pierced. (Ear lobes)
~~Known someone personally with HIV or AIDS.~~
Taken pictures with a web cam.
Lost something expensive.(My wallet)
Gone to sleep with music on. (Often)

Whoever wants to take it up, please do. Have fun. Cheers!

Strength in togetherness?

2010-07-30T20:53:00.000+05:30

We were like a string of pearls in the same thread,

S T R I N G B R E A K S O F F ,

What now remains is, A single pearl, all apart!

What is more precious,

A pearl, or a String of pearls?

I feel low...

2010-07-24T19:59:00.000+05:30

I am low because I want to be. I desperately need to share my thoughts, feelings and emotions the way I used to. I have become too much frustrated, possibly because of the monotony in my life;someone said. On one side there is an insurmountable academic pressure and on the other side there is this "void",I am lately feeling in my life. My life seems to be surrounded with all kinds of darkness with no rays of light coming from anywhere. "Things are psychological", someone said.

Whenever I see people, having fun and sharing over the happy and sad moments of their lives, I feel cagey and pity on thyself. I am trying to find answers to my questions , "unknown questions".I always provide myself with reasons to keep me satisfied. But, in real, I know what is the truth.

Automatically, when I think about my life, my tear glands starts functioning. I don't cry, but I sob; whenever I am alone. When I wake up every morning- I find no reasons to carry on with my life. I may be failing. But I think I am learning the different ways the life treat us, and right now I am learning the bad things. See the ways, I keep consoling myself!

I can no more count on people, and can share my things, I think of the different things they are going to think about me. I dislike the things I used to love at one point of time. My tastes are changing. The way I treat people is changing. I am changing. May be for good. But bad is not yet ruled out of the option. I don't know, what is eating up inside me. I am not being able to find reasons for my sadness. I am not being able to deal with inner me. I don't know , why I keep judging people all the time? Why do I feel this way? Is it common among all the people in my age-group? I need to change, and find the answers for my unknown questions before it is too late.

I have become the one who is glued to her mobile, not to text but to play games.
I have become the one who likes to watch Balika Vadhu sharp at 8'0 clock,
I have become the one who keeps earphones stuck to her ears to listen to radio,
I have become the one who likes to do nothing,
I have become the one who wants to do tit- for-tat for everything,
I have become the one who dresses disastrously,

Instead of
having loads of friends to text,
watching reality shows or may be the talk shows ,
to listen the hip- hop, or hard rock music
having infinite books to read,
having infinite household chores to do,
forgiving and forgetting people,
having the biggest wardrobe people dream to have,

I have become the way I now am.

P.S.- People reading this might think - what kind of article is this, but 'am only trying to vent out my sad feelings, and the way I have been lately feeling about my life.

Grandparents' love

2010-07-05T20:46:00.000+05:30

My grandparents are the indispensable part of my life, Their infinite love is what I cannot put up in words. I call my grandpa- dadaji, and grandma- maa!

I lost my dadaji at the age of 14 in an accident, and now I am left with maa, who cares like no one can, who tries to fill in the space we lost long back. I can make out, the pain she undergoes through, when past memories stuck up in her head. I was young and didn't know what I had lost then, but gradually, as I'm getting older , I miss him, I don't remember the days I spent with him, but what all I remember is, I called him- 'telephone waale dadaji', 'coz he was on phone most of the times, the permanent place he used to sit to have lunch as well as dinner, and also the talk show he used to see everyday at 9pm, and I loved to sit with him, to see his grey hair, to see him write, to see him putting on dhoti, He had an aura, that till date , I couldn't find in anybody else. 7th July, is the date he met with an accident, and since then, I curse this date. I let no one in my family travel out station, As I didn't attend his last rituals, I don't know how badly he was hurt. But deep inside, I wanted to see him, I feel that now. I was a kiddo then!

My granny, i.e. maa- is very sweet, humble, kind, and loving. Her place cannot be replaced by anyone else ever. She is the backbone of my family, and believe me, It is important to have a loving hand of elder people over us. And we need their blessings everyday. And from them ,we learn about the antiquity of our family, and their experience about their lives, the kind of life they lead, the kind of food they had.. Everything is changed now, and I know all that 'coz of maa. She is the most caring soul on the earth, in my life!

Miss you dadaji, and love you maa.. :)

P.S.- Do respect and love your grandparents, they truly deserve the love, C'mon, they are your parents' parents. Treat them with high respect, Love them, Respect them. Please do.

Me, with flaws

2010-06-24T22:12:00.000+05:30

Everyday,
When I wake up in the morning,
I know my weak points,
And I accept being what I am.

What if, I am not beautiful..
Impressions of beauty disappears,
What people remember, is the soul
And how we make them feel !
Should I be less loved , coz I am less attractive ?

What if, I love to eat,
God has blessed us with the ability to eat,
Knowingly, I have become a Fatso,
But then, I love eating,
Should I be less loved, Coz I am an overweight ?

What if, I am lazy,
Who aren't?
I love to introspect and think about myself,
That has made me a kinda sluggish,
But, Does that mean I should be a figure whom people should always mock at?
And, should I be less loved, coz I am lethargic at times ?

I might have hurt a soul or a two,
But, Am I to please everyone I come across?
Is anyone, good to all.. always?
Again, what is my fault?
And why, I repeat.. Should this be the reason I feel like a loner?

I accept all my foibles,
And so should everyone else.
Nobody is perfect,
and every Tom, Dick and Harry has his day!

AN EFFORT- to make people realize, that there is a limit to take insults. Someday, if I lose my good, no one will be spared.. ! Also, an initiative to spread LOVE.. !
Love your surroundings,
Love the people around you,
And treat people good, they'll treat you good.

My trip to Kashmir

2010-05-19T21:14:00.004+05:30

Today, I sit down, here to write about the place which is surely a "paradise" on this Earth, If you are thinking about the place, I , very "proudly" would name - KASHMIR, the place I visited recently.

The picturesque landscapes, pure white snow, crystal clear waterfalls, dream-like scenery, dense forests, high mountains, surrounded all by clouds. I was overjoyed to see such a magnificent place in my own country. I *secretly* felt pride within me, I still feel a shiver inside me when I recollect the moments I spent in "heaven". I am not being able to put in those apt words it deserves. I found cherry trees; the shikara ride; pollution free environment; the snow skiing and the soul stirring nature; and I found lying myself in the lap of nature.. *WOW*

My mom's purse went missing the very first day of our trip which had lot of valuables plus cash,she left it in some shop, and after sometime she realized when she needed cash.. And we all felt the chill *oh my god* types, my hands went nervously "numb" and we looked at each other, our guide asked us all to keep calm, and we looked for it here and there, and lo, my brother found it in the shop we left, I thanked god from the bottom of my heart, Moreover -I fell in love with Kashmir more deeply, This incident, moreover the honesty- stirred a twig in my heart and soul, and I was able to jump over many stereotypes I had in my mind (which need not to be written here), I felt Kashmir as "my own Kashmir" ( I can't explain the feeling properly)

The best moment was when i saw snow, White , pure , soft, newly SNOW. I was spell bound by the beauty India carries right on its top, We played with snow, made small snow houses, covered oneself with snow, I went amuck seeing SNOW.. It was so cold there that we were covered with a cloth after cloth not showing even the slightest of the skin.

Rishi, Amulya, Madhav, Gaurav, Aditya added a flavor to the beauty with their unexpected humor, and gave me the company I didn't expected.

Gulmarg and Pehelgam are the unforgettable places I've had ever been to . Gul chacha in gulmarg, proved to be a star taking us cut the longest queue for gondola, While we were in gondola, We saw.. Actually, felt nature !! As if mountains, snow and clouds welcomed us and as we moved closer , It enclosed us all in its arms, and allowed us to play in its fragrance.

The sceneries one could only 'imagine', or we drew while we were a kid.. which comprised of mountains with sun in the middle, river flowing right from the top of the mountain, grass all over, plus the huts, Oh my god.. Ditto, when I saw, I was lost in its beauty, and so were all. *excited*

I am really short of words, to describe the beauty I felt within while I was in Kashmir, It really deserves all the cheers!! *claps*

Last one thing, Kashmir is worth fighting for. And it is really the most scintillating place among all the places I've been..!!

*Will cherish the memories of this trip forever*

:))

One who changed my life for good..

2010-05-01T13:23:00.006+05:30

Finally, I am writing about a guy, whom I have known for about a year and a half, The reason for my writing about him is, my sudden realization that this guy has changed my life,changed it for good..

So, MAYANK.....here goes the outpourings for you.....

He's adorable, kind, caring, humorous and he came into my life when I was going through the worst phase of my life.. And that's what make him more special. "People come and go, and we realize their importance when they are gone," Life becomes dull, when you don't have friends to share your feelings & emotions with, when nobody cares for your smile..but he brought a beaming smile on my frowning face and gave me long unending lectures, lectures that changed my view towards life and showed me a completely different way to lead my life.. I AM BLESSED to have known him.

He's someone who bumped into me, to scold me and to tell me that I needed to get better in life in every aspect, he developed a passion in me for a number of things, like- I am writing and I OWE THIS TO HIM, he was the one who gently asked me to scribble about anything and everything and to give vent to my feelings, and i swear, from that day onwards.. I loved scribbling.. and today, I can write, and pour out my emotions well. This one goes out to you, Mayank-

"True to the core,

solid trust you bore.

Truthful are your eyes,

they display no lies.

By your words, you heal,

there's no one you can deceive.

Shining like a star,

you deserve to be a czar."

He brought distinct, varied colors to my life, and once again, he deserves the credit.. Nothing bad comes out for him, He's the one who is absolutely pure at heart, the one who could bring in my sanity, the one who could say things in a way i understand them and the one who can bring a smile to my face in severe crisis of my life.

The best part of him is, he somehow understands people, and can pull out the best in them.He's gem of a person,and I'm blessed to have known him.

Were if I your mother, I would have been proud to call you- my son.. :)) and I am in debt to you, and will never forget all that you've done for me ever, and here .. writing about you in my blog, will never let me forget all the goodness you imbibed in me.. I won't call you my best buddy, yet.. I ll never forget the way you changed my life.. THANK YOU..

Wanna be a kidd..

2010-04-30T22:48:00.001+05:30

Ring-a-ringa roses,

Pocket full of roses..

husshaa.. wusshaa..

AND all fall down.. !!!!

EXAMS over, and it feels like I HAVE TO do so much in my holidays..

I feel like jumping whole day,

as if i have studied so much last month..

I wanna be a kid again, play RING-A-ROSES.. :(

SHATTERED

2010-04-15T20:38:00.000+05:30

My eyes were closed,

My life was slow,

My heart was true,

My mind was translucent..

I am sure,

I can't hurt a soul.

I am soft spoken,

I am unselfishly.

I'LL NOT BE THE SAME ANYMORE..

People are shrewd,

People are cunning,

I can't take my life as it comes.

I'm hurt..

I'M hurt the most,

I won't be truthful,

I won't be polite,

I'll be unreasonable,

MY EYES ARE WIDE OPEN NOW,

I'll make the pace of my life faster,

My mind will be opaque,

I can hurt people,

I'll be selfish..

'COZ NOW, AM SHATTERED,

BADLY HURT..!!

:'((

Without you,

2010-04-09T20:00:00.004+05:30

Without you,
I feel blue,
I feel scared,
I hardly care..

I feel unwanted,
I feel rejected,
I feel disowned,
I feel dispassionate..

I feel like screaming,
I feel like crying,
I feel uncertain,
I feel burdened..

Without you, I feel lonely......

Deep Inside ...

2010-03-27T15:27:00.000+05:30

Deep Inside ...
We all believe in god,

Deep Inside ...
We long to be truly loved,

Deep Inside ...
We yearn to be "missed" by some heart,

Deep Inside ...
We crave for attention,

Deep Inside ...
We wanna own a house as beautiful as palace,

Deep Inside ...
We miss the one, we left behind.. and moved on,

Deep Inside ...
We are hurt more, when we hurt someone,

Deep Inside ...
We all want someone special in life,

Deep Inside ...
We wait for our birthday throughout the year,

Deep Inside ...
We let off our ego for the one we love,

However harsh we appear to be outside, or mould ourselves to be..
We have innocence as a child,
We have purest feelings,
We have purest hearts,

TRY BEING URSELF, BECAUSE THERE'S NOBODY WHO KNOWS US BETTER THAN OUR TRUE SELVES..!!

Siblings Tit-Bits

2010-03-21T17:03:00.001+05:30

After very long.. i am here writing a blog, after my dad forced me to write something today.. So, the topic i chose was very general.. and of course common.. !! We all fight with our younger or elder bro or sis.. RITE??

To be honest.. i love fighting with my younger bro over slightest of the things..His name is GAURAV.. this is my first blog, dedicated to you.. He has always been cribbing .. that i pen down everything about everybody around me, and never about him.. though he knows that i love him the most..!!

ONCE upon a time, I wrote a lot about him, in my private diary.. when i was small.. because i hated him, and i couldn't ever tell that to anybody, so i wrote.. but the day i realized the other part of him, i tore off my personal diary.. and he became one of my living personal diaries, who loves me as i am..I am the luckiest sis, to have him,As my friends put in..and lately, i believe them.. I am the luckiest sister..

I will never ever forget the times, he was there with me, when nobody was.. He patted my back everytime, supported me, loved me.. AS I AM.. I have no other person in my life as him, for he knows all my flaws, and still endures me with his kindness, and showers me with the absolute love..

We fight,

We crib,

We tease,

We share,

We shout,

BUT,

We love,

We hug,

We keep secrets,

We wipe tears..!!

He teases me for i am fat, he eats all the things i love in front of my very eyes, but secretly.. he comes to me,and shares his part for i love eating those things..

Once, I remember, my mum reduces my pocket money to Rs 700 from Rs 1500, it was obvious that i was disappointed.. coz i had planned to do several things, i was crying.. He same upto me, wiped off my tears, and opened his piggy bank{which has a lot of money} to me.. and asked me to take any amount i wanted.. God.. even in my dreams i cannot forget this kindness of him..

He is the one, who, when goes anywhere leaving me alone at home.. i miss him, i call him, and i cry to him.. He s the only angel of my life, With him.. its always feels good, coz he makes me know everything about me, he supports me while i fight over minial things at home, he sacrifices his part to me.. if he comes to know that i m in need.. All my friends love him, more then they love me.. :)

He is the one who doesn't boasts about himself, although he knows he is much more superior, intellegent and smarter than I, I may not always be there for him.. but he surely is always there for him..

I know, he 's a gem of a person.. and he deserves the heights of the sky.. From the bottom of my heart.. i thank god, of making me his sister because of his calm ways of dealing with me.. He s one such person , i ll say sorry despite i havn't made any mistakes, i ll shout over him.. n he ll still smile to me, i ll push him away when he wants to hug me.. but ll always hug me back when i ll hug him...

OOPS, i juzz forgot.. this article was about our fights.. I guess, we love more.. i have no bad words about him, i don't think anything bad about him.. I love him to the core of my heart.. and wanna thank him.. for everything he has done to me.. knowingly or unknowingly.. !!

He' s undoubtedly the best person.. the best guy in my life.. and i cant stop being proud to be his sister..!!

Felt elegaic

2009-12-03T19:07:00.005+05:30

It was Eid-ul-fitr, Saturday.. and a holiday! I woke up around 8am ; I believed it to be a day normal as other days were.. but it wasn't the same. There was a hustle bustle in and around my home, some expected guests arrived.

At around 10am, i recieved a message- "****** is no more" , she was my classmate cum friend and to recieve such a message.. i was stupified, It seemed ,I had lost my senses for another few minutes.. I wasn't crying initially.. but it bewildered me.. I couldn't believe my eyes.. I deleted the message the very next moment, Words were rolled up in my mouth itself, It was the most shocking message of my life till now. So many questions kept popping up in my mind.. and all the times i had spent with her, kept flashing in and out. I couldn't believe.. I cried.. I cried aloud !

I know deaths are inevitable, and uncertain too.. We all know that , we all will die one day.. but, yet we feel a difficulty to accept it.. there are some people without whom our existence seems impossible.. Thousands of people die everyday.. We read about them and we forget.. Life encircles around death every moment.. and we cannot do anything about it.

Nobody knows, when one is gonna bowled out. Grief follows. Every person is special for someone or the other.. Yet, life goes on.. people learn to live without them..

I, personally, felt a thunderstruck, when i realised that, we are never gonna see her again.. ever..ever.. ever.. nothing seemed to please me..

"mourns, mourns, mourns"

Suicide note

2009-11-09T18:04:00.003+05:30

Mom and Dad...

I' m writing my last feelings on this note. This is my last communication with this world. I am sick and tired of this everyday routine. I wake up in the morning and i have to wash my hair with the same 'Sunsilk pink Shampoo' everyday. I' m tired of using that shampoo. I asked you so many times to get me L'oreal Elvive...but u never did.. U never did... :(

Because of that shampoo, I've got one grey hair on my skull.. and you know how much i love my hair, my friends tease me of getting older.. and it is so shameful for me to hear that..I cant take this anymore.Thats why, I've crapped myself to death..

You' find me under the bed..

Lets see who u r gonna force to eat vegetables now..!!

Agape and very sincerely..
Ritika

ChiLLy WiNtErS..!!

2009-11-04T22:31:00.000+05:30

After the blazing pangs of the sun,
Cool breezes soothes my soul,
I welcome winters,
with my open arms...

Monotonous DAYS getting shorter, and
Relaxing NIGHTS getting longer ,
Who doesnt love to sleep more?
so do I..

Early morning blues ,
muddled fog,
delayed flights and trains,
hail, winters.. !

Sweat glands stops functioning,
one feels the winters,
Who doesnt like to eat hot food?
blessed are the winters..!

Lotions and potions,
girls puff on their faces..
Dried skin.
yet ,WINTERs are beautiful..!! !

peas, carrots,
radish, spinach
oranges , jaggery...
i welcome winters..!!

Colors it brings along ..
Christmas, New Years..
moreover..
Marriages, wow.. winters..!!

I welcome winters with my open arms..!!!

Dearest...

2009-10-30T23:11:00.004+05:30

A word to say, a word to hear..

even in ur absence i feel you near,

i want you to see, i want u to feel

you are that important to me

as India's nuclear deal..

Day passes in pain..

with you,seems like a gain,

i plee you immensely..

leave me never lonely..

I am pining for love of you,

i yearn to be with thou,

Days pass cheerless,

nights, i roll wretched..

Come to me, my love

for your absence is distressing..

i feel you in my fingers,

i feel you in my toes...

and the gloom continues................

Face "not matching" psyche

2009-10-26T20:42:00.000+05:30

She smiles,

she is happy,

she is jocular,

she is lovable,

she is surrounded,

but..

something is wrong,

something is unsaid,

Her inner turmoil is known only to her,

she refuses to share,

she can't speak her heart,

she cant drop her pearly tears,

perhaps,she is

a destitute

a desolate

the withdrawn

the secluded...

:(((

FOODIE GAGAS...

2009-10-23T20:59:00.003+05:30

I am always hungry to eat.. I sometimes dont understand why do i eat so much.. Obviously I am aware of the repercussions of my increasing weight day by day.. But i just cannot resist the food.. I am a big time foodie, and when it comes to my favourites... I go gagas..

My day is incomplete if i dont eat any of my favourites all day long.. I feel so vacuous when i dont chew something, i wonder, whether i m living to eat.. When i smell the aroma of the food.. all kinds of fluids secrete in my mouth.. Now, lemme mention some of my favourites which i can never resist-watsoever may be.. PAANI POORI, MAGGIE, PANEER KI SABJI WITH NAAN, PIZZAS, MC D 'S BURGER, CHHOLE BHATURe, ICECREAMS, CHOCS,ALL KINDA SWEETS..n there are more.. (SHY)

I feel as if my life is at stake when anybody asks me to go for dieting... i feel like... completely frustrated.. I love street food, from the time i am in college.. Sometimes, when i dream of getting a slim figure.. one of a girly types.. i GET motivated.. but the next day, i cant resist... I am a tallow, and a bit oversized creature, i know... BUT , i cant give up food.. i was flabbergasted when one of my friend, said.. she was on dieting, even when she had a perfect figure..

Damm all those who diet.. i really cant, i have been trying from so long, but couldnt be succesful for more than two days.. and ya, exercising is what i am very lazy about, I often wonder how ll i look ..when i ll be fatter... but, I CANT GIVE UP MY FAVOURITES..

Everybody at my home, gives me various kinds of avarices to reduce down my weight ..yet I DONT CARE...

P.S- after reading this blog, if you think what kind of girl i am, dont bother... i love food, and my problem.. can be understood my only those.. who are facing the same problem...

I LOVE FOOD (winks******)

Mom's love

2009-10-13T17:40:00.003+05:30

Something that is still pure.. is only mom's love.. I am her only daughter, I can now, make out that.. if the woman of the house is not selfless.. the family can never live in tranquility, if she always keep up her ego, i bet nobody in the family, would even care about her wellbeing...

I am writing all this today, because my mom made me incharge of the kitchen for two days.. and the days are unending.. they are the longest days ever.. I am hating all the household chores i have to do, but cannot back out, thinking of how she manages to do everything so perfectly...i can now understand how difficult is to manage a kitchen, but she MANAGES our houses, and make it so perfect for us to live that we are able to call it "home sweet home"and makes it the best place for us to live in.. Can anybody deny on this?We miss our homes, once we go away.. dont we..??I literally cried amuck when i last left my home, alone for a month..

She wakes up at 6'o clock in the morning, and does all the work untiringly , unselfishly..Always eats after we all have eaten, Why??? Just for one common reason, that she can do anything for her kids.. she sacrifices her aims, her ambitions, and find her only happiness in seeing us smile.. and we dont even compliment her for the food she cooks, dont even notice the new saree she puts on.. Believe me, i really got frustrated when my dad forgot to compliment me for the tasteless food i cooked, that was so unappetising that even i could nt eat.. but even then i needed the appreciation. I get annoyed when i put on a new dress, and nobody notices it.. i feel like not wearing it ever again...!!

Till date, whenever i cry.. i wipe off and carry a smile to her.. she, on the first go- asks me, why did i cry? i fail to understand how she manages to read my mind and my ostensible smile!!

I often wonder, just after few more years.. how ll I be able to be so selfless.. how ll I shed all of my ego and manage to keep the same selfless smile that my mom displays.. Undoubtedly,God has made mothers his substitute.. Atleast I dont have any person in my life as her, but still why do we forget to tell her..

I am complete in tears by now.. Just wanna say, ACKNOWLEDGE HER,she ll love you even more then she did yesterday..!! :"(

I LOVE U Mumma..

SoMeOnE....

2009-10-10T18:57:00.000+05:30

For someone, who is so dear..

for someone, who is altruistic to me..

for someone, who is matchless..

for someone, who is juzz mine...

i can't explain my love in the words..

yet... i m trying..

for the first time,when our eyes met..

there was a shiver in my retina,

for something was so just in your eyes

I LOVED YOUR EYES...

Refined ettiquetes, Courteous speech

Heartthrobbing personality

Accutely amicable, Unselfishly soul,

words fall short to describe you

By then, i had fallen in love with you,

my heart 's brimming love for thou,

i love you against all odds

i love you with all my heart..

if ever, i had broken your heart..

kindly forgive me...

if ever i had been rude to you..

i apologize..

just be by my side,

and

let your heart take toll over

your worthy mind..

P.S.- dear someone.. hope you read this, and understand how much i love you.. :-(

I MISS YOU..

Dearest Dad,

2009-10-08T15:44:00.000+05:30

I am just thinking about the best words to describe you,

sanguine, nonchalant, serene, assiduous, are you..

Remembering all the things you have done for me;

you've been there always,

when i was riffling through my childhood pictures,

tears block my eye, when i see your embrace.

I can't count the number of times ,

you have been out of your way, just to be by my side,

You saw everything that came your way

good or bad..

whenever I am morbid, you become my smile

whenever i am feeling low, you become my mentor

whenever i have any problem, you become my solution

U ARE MY DAD..

I noticed, even when your days are'nt ravishing

you always manage to make me smile,

I never have to worry about being misjudged,

for you are there, dear pa..

You might not be the

hero to the world,

but you the hero

to your princess daughter....

SHARING N CARING IN A JOINT FAMILY

2009-10-05T22:30:00.000+05:30

While most of the people in India now prefer to live in nuclear familes, I would yet love to live in a joint family once again....Yup, Once upon a time, i lived in a joint family where chords of love kept all the people deeply entangled. I learnt , how to love selflessly only from these special traditions..the different ways to adjust... the times when any of the member was going through any kind of pain.... the ways of sharing and caring..

I was a teenager by the time, we all broke up into nuclear families... i never gave a thought to how it feels in a nuclear family... but now I surely know the importance of the one... I always feel the utmost grief for the familes who divide.... reason,whatsover may be.... but living together was the most beautiful part of my life, Perhaps may be it was because, i spent my childhood in a joint culture...

Firstly, the idea of a big house excites me now.. I miss my home, it was huge... it was like a haveli... beautiful lush garden...peacocks dancing, a big garage.. a big ground for all of the kids to play... sand all over..and so many terraces(wow), smell of the sand during rainy season... my whole childhood -i never felt solitude, i had so many people to love me, to take care of me.. dont take me wrong, i still have people who love me,, but that was different... a complete different phase in my life...

Secondly, during all the festivals.. every member was so enthusiastic to participate in, to make every festival, every function a huge success.. Especially, i remember... all those festivals when the married females keep the fasts, and break only after seeing the moon... at nite, when we used to go to terraces ,,,what a soothing sky it seemed... i wonder, why are things not the same anymore... why sky seems only grey to me now... I often look up in the sky, and dont find anything so beautiful then those sights which i saw in my childhood...

I am the eldest daughter in the family, and the most loved- reason being usual, first child being extemely pampered among all... among all means-so many members in the same family... Everyday seemed to be a festival... anniversaries , birthdays followed year after year.. and now I am here... just missing my joint family...

MiSS you Amulya Adi Chachu Chachi.. :-(((

P.S.-Those who are looking ahead to divide their families,, give a second thought to it....